A BIRTHDAY GIFT
opened my heart's desire to him. He just said, "good".
Then I told him that my wish is to get initiation from
him. I sensed an inner smile blooming in his eyes.
Without agreeing or disagreeing he started explaining
his story of sannyas initiation to me. He was about 18
or 20 years then. Hearing about Ramana Maharshi he
left home and reached Thiruvannamalai. Ramana was in
silence and was old. People were moving in a queue to
prostrate before the Saint. Maharshi was just sitting
in silence with his eyes closed. Guru said that he
could here his own heartbeats while in the queue. '
How to ask? Will Ramana open his eyes and speak?
Should I ask for sannyas?', all these questions
started passing through his mind. When his turn came,
to his surprise, Ramana opened the eyes and looked
into his eyes. He said that he felt something like
lightning passing towards him. After narrating this
experience, Guru continued to me: " Sannyas is not a
commodity which can be given or taken. It is a state
of mind as well as a life style".
Guru's words inspired me. I found him very practical
and had the feeling that he was my Guru. I stayed in
the Gurukula patiently waiting for an auspicious
initiation ceremony. But Guru seemed to have forgotten
the entire episode. Finally when I gave up hope, one
day during his Upanishad class Guru just read out the
'homa mantra' of 'Sree Narayana Guru' and explained the
subtle meaning of it. This mantra was chanted during
initiation ceremonies in the Gurukula. Guru wanted me
to repeat this mantra after him. I knew this was the
first step of my sannyas initiation. There was no
sacrificial fire or any rituals. All happened in the
inner world. Once Guru happened to call me 'Ananda
Nada Yogi', and I knew that was my sannyas name.
Again many days passed and one evening after the
regular class, Guru called me near him when I least
expected it. As I sat near him touching his feet Guru
placed his hands on my head. I felt a tremendous
circuit of energy being passed on to me and a bright
golden light enveloped both of us. I had a heavy
sensation in my heart for a long time. To explain that
state in words is really difficult. He then covered me
with a saffron robe and explained many things about
sannyas. The whole night I couldn't sleep. I was in a
blissful state. Next day was my birthday. Actually
sannyas is also a new birth and it happened to be an
invaluable gift on my birthday from my Guru.
I reached there on a cool and crisp sunny morning
during the summer. The Gurukula in 'Fernhill', 5
kilometers above from Ooty, seemed to be more calm and
isolated. My mind was saturated in a beautiful
silence. I Felt much confident and at peace standing
at that important turning point of my life. From my
childhood I had high regards and respect to the
saffron robed people. But then I never knew that I am
marching to be one among them. When I told my parents
that I am going to get initiated into sannyas from
Guru Nithya Chaitanya Yathi, they happily said "okay",
because they never believed that I could be one at
that young age of 23.
As I got a chance for a private dialogue with Guru, Iduring the summer. The Gurukula in 'Fernhill', 5
kilometers above from Ooty, seemed to be more calm and
isolated. My mind was saturated in a beautiful
silence. I Felt much confident and at peace standing
at that important turning point of my life. From my
childhood I had high regards and respect to the
saffron robed people. But then I never knew that I am
marching to be one among them. When I told my parents
that I am going to get initiated into sannyas from
Guru Nithya Chaitanya Yathi, they happily said "okay",
because they never believed that I could be one at
that young age of 23.
opened my heart's desire to him. He just said, "good".
Then I told him that my wish is to get initiation from
him. I sensed an inner smile blooming in his eyes.
Without agreeing or disagreeing he started explaining
his story of sannyas initiation to me. He was about 18
or 20 years then. Hearing about Ramana Maharshi he
left home and reached Thiruvannamalai. Ramana was in
silence and was old. People were moving in a queue to
prostrate before the Saint. Maharshi was just sitting
in silence with his eyes closed. Guru said that he
could here his own heartbeats while in the queue. '
How to ask? Will Ramana open his eyes and speak?
Should I ask for sannyas?', all these questions
started passing through his mind. When his turn came,
to his surprise, Ramana opened the eyes and looked
into his eyes. He said that he felt something like
lightning passing towards him. After narrating this
experience, Guru continued to me: " Sannyas is not a
commodity which can be given or taken. It is a state
of mind as well as a life style".
Guru's words inspired me. I found him very practical
and had the feeling that he was my Guru. I stayed in
the Gurukula patiently waiting for an auspicious
initiation ceremony. But Guru seemed to have forgotten
the entire episode. Finally when I gave up hope, one
day during his Upanishad class Guru just read out the
'homa mantra' of 'Sree Narayana Guru' and explained the
subtle meaning of it. This mantra was chanted during
initiation ceremonies in the Gurukula. Guru wanted me
to repeat this mantra after him. I knew this was the
first step of my sannyas initiation. There was no
sacrificial fire or any rituals. All happened in the
inner world. Once Guru happened to call me 'Ananda
Nada Yogi', and I knew that was my sannyas name.
Again many days passed and one evening after the
regular class, Guru called me near him when I least
expected it. As I sat near him touching his feet Guru
placed his hands on my head. I felt a tremendous
circuit of energy being passed on to me and a bright
golden light enveloped both of us. I had a heavy
sensation in my heart for a long time. To explain that
state in words is really difficult. He then covered me
with a saffron robe and explained many things about
sannyas. The whole night I couldn't sleep. I was in a
blissful state. Next day was my birthday. Actually
sannyas is also a new birth and it happened to be an
invaluable gift on my birthday from my Guru.
i miss fernhill each minute. our guru was so practical that a dreamy person like me became very much realist..
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anandha
ReplyDeletei dont know what to say
since we met long ago - still the journey keeps going - some day before the last breath we will meet again that time v become whole by ourself - swami sushantha - each time when i write or tell this name i remind myself of my worthlessness being in this state and also commit and trust myself that one day it is possible with the grace of guru -pranams
swami sushantha
We are free to chose how our life should be. We are the final authority on our lives. Our life is immensely precious. Every breath is precious. Every moment is precious. Nothing is gone waste. Nothing is worthless. Grace can inspire. But we need to take the real step. My dear friend, all the experiences of life, you have chosen the way it is. The choice is still with you. realize and liberate. Blessings................
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