Wedding story.....

Leading 35 years of unmarried life was a well thought decision. Getting into marriage was also another well thought decision. Probably those were not mere thoughts and perhaps no decisions were made. They just happened on their own accord. Combination of both the experiences added a wide spectrum to my life complementing each part.

Being a lone star in life was in many ways a very fulfilling and enriching experience. But always there remained a void that needed to be fulfilled. At a point, life reached a stagnation and there was no more meaning or motivation to move on. Done with the meaningful part of life, now time has come to experience perhaps the meaningless part too to make it a complete whole. After all meaning is what we add to life. Life as such is comprised of neutral experiences. Life is a black and white canvas just consisting of days and nights. We are free to paint on this canvas the way we like, use the colors we enjoy and make it into a creative painting.

Jayasree, my first cousin from Trichy was my constant companion for over a decade in my life journey. We had a mission together. We learned and practiced different Healing modalities, New Age spirituality, Meditation techniques and Yoga together. We taught what we learned together and made a living. The synergy was perfectly complimenting. There were discrepancies at later stages and our paths were vividly bifurcating. I needed marriage and she was already done with that aspect of life. Thus we set apart for a different journey altogether.

I was at home and one day my mother told me that I had a phone call from a second cousin of mine while I was away. Her name is also Jayashree. Her family was settled in Manglore. She studied Masters in Hospital Administration in Trichy. She heard about me from my other cousins in Trichy that I am into Vipassana meditation. She wanted to try it out too and that's why she contacted me. Vipassana is a meditation technique as taught by the Budha. I was more than happy to help. That's the first time I came to here about this cousin of mine and her family.

She was staying in her friend's house in Kochi. She called me again over the phone and addressed me as 'Manuvetta'. She sounded so familiar to me. I visited her at her friend's house. She held me by hand as if she knew me for long and invited for lunch at her friend's place. I couldn't reject, but simply oblige to her loving gesture. She was so child like and her eyes always smiled with innocence. I took her to my home. She never kept a distance and had no inhibitions which was very unusual in my family. I sensed my mother was a bit annoyed of this which I simply neglected.

We traveled together to Chennai for Vipassana meditation camp. It is a ten days residential camp where you have to observe complete silence throughout the course. My first cousin Jayasree also was there volunteering at the camp. We all completed the course and spent couple of days together in Chennai. Then I accompanied my second cousin Jayashree to Manglore. The journey brought me closer to her. I was so thrilled to travel with her to her village where she was born and brought up.

Ordinary simple house and people. She had her father, mother and three younger brothers. Many pets around and acres of agricultural land. That was a joyful get together with the forgotten family. Spent few days like in a vacation. I was fully taken care of. Naturally beautiful environment in the Shirady ghats area. Close by are the popular temples of Dharmasthala and Kuke Subrahmanya. Very calm and peaceful atmosphere. Thoroughly enjoyed the stay there and returned back to Kerala with a fulfilling experience of togetherness and love.

Months passed by and Jayashree came back to Kochi to do a project of her post graduation studies at the Amritha Institute of Medical Sciences. She stayed as a paying guest along with her friend in a house near the Amritha hospital. We met regularly and roamed around in the city on my motor bike. She was 11 years younger to me and I was very caring about her. Meanwhile Jayashree's mother came to Kochi. They were in the process of looking out for a suitable bridegroom for her. I promised to search also if I came across any ideal marriage alliance for her. My parents were also insisting me to get married and brought many proposals which I rejected stating different reasons. I couldn't imagine getting married to an unknown girl. I was always concerned about my freedom. My efforts to find a matching partner for my second cousin didn't succeed. I thought only I could take care of her well because I loved her deeply by then. I felt her to be very light and fragile to be handled.

While Jayashree's mother was returning back to Manglore, I went to see her off at the railway station. I even accompanied her up till Shoranur Junction where she had to change the trains. Meanwhile got an opportunity to open up my heart's desire to her. I started in a round about way. I began by saying that I've found a very good match for Jayashree. The mom became curious now. I started explaining about the proposed bridegroom. I said he is much taller and there was about 10 years of age difference. Mother said that's not a problem. She also justified that she and her husband also have a big age difference and it will work if the girl is younger. So that hurdle was crossed. Then I said that the boy is not working. Now she was a bit skeptical about the whole thing. I told her that he is a freelance musician by profession and he will be able to take care of her. Then her mother asked me weather I was describing about myself. I smiled and she understood what she guessed was right. That was something unexpected from my side for her and she said she will give a reply after she discusses with Jayashree's father too. I felt so relieved to have presented somehow the matter to her. I was ready to wait. I've waited that long until 35 years of my age.

My next step was to figure out Jayashree's thoughts about it. I straight away opened the subject while we were talking one evening on the terrace of our house. She was not mentally prepared to decide on it. She wanted to pursue her studies further. I told her that there was no hurry to take a decision and It was just for her to think about such an option. I was feeling confident that things will shape up my way. After a couple of days I received a phone call from Jayashree's mother saying that we can proceed with the idea. I felt so happy and thrilled. A new door was opening in front of me. Immediately wanted to convey my wish to my parents. I visited my father to the temple where he was doing a religious discourse of seven days. During the break time, I broke the surprising news to him. He didn't reply yes or no. He just asked me to think well and make a decision. To approach my mother directly was not wise. I communicated the message through a relative of mine in whom she had much confidence. Thank God, finally the parents together agreed upon the issue and decided to arrange our wedding on an auspicious day.

2005 September 10.